Professor Elam

Friday February 4 2011

I write a weekly column for a West Texas newspaper. Here is this week's edition.

On the Road to the Permian Basin

Universities like to display an international flair. It is typical to see lists of how many different countries are represented among the students. And so, universities offer ‘travel courses.’ A class will be held in a ‘foreign country.’  Travel arrangements are made and visits and lectures occur highlighting the art or perhaps commerce if it is a business trip, to   that country. Texas A & M San Antonio has sponsored trips to Romania and will go to Ireland this year. And so, I proposed a trip to what is surely a foreign land to residents of San Antonio, yep- a trip to West Texas. It doesn’t get more foreign that that here in Central Texas.

The belief in the Flat Earth concept, at least as it relates to West Texas, is alive and well in the I-35 corridor. Venture past Abilene or certainly further west than San Angelo and no telling what might happen to you. Driving off the edge of the earth might, indeed, be welcome alternative to what could befall one in the Permian Basin.  For example, I told the comptroller at the Houston firm employing me of my plans to move to West Texas in 1972. Back then one could smoke in the office. He nearly dropped his cigarette in his lap and exclaimed, ‘Dennis, they have bars in Odessa worse than anything in Shanghai!.’  Shall we say the Visitor and Convention Bureaus have their work cut out for them.

But that was decades ago, right?  Okay so the biggest thing since then was Friday Night Lights but we are all global citizens now, right. And so I put the suggestion on my student blog, you can look at

http://www.professorelam.typepad.com.  I point out that the price of oil is up as is the economy. Most folks have never seen a drilling rig much less stepped foot on one; I imagine we could arrange that for our group of students.  The real economy is the service economy; and I doubt most would know a pulling unit from a pump jack. So some oilfield 101 is in order as well.

There are things to see and do. The Petroleum Museum also offers up the fine Chaparral racecar exhibit. The Yellow Rose Ranch is still raising ostriches, and frankly I am curious as to what becomes of them. Is anyone planning on ostrich quesadillas for their Super Bow Party?  Actually make mine some Buddy’s Steak Fingers instead….

No trip would be complete without lunch at Dos Amigos; maybe we could take in a bull ride on the weekend.   And certainly the Commerative Air Force merits a visit.

I expect the Economic Development Groups of various towns would be glad to welcome us, surely this would be the first ever arrival of university students. Hmmm, perhaps it would be fitting to have the group hosted at the Meteor Crater, this being a sort of ‘out of this world event.’  I did make the point that West Texas is open for business, ready to embrace a good idea and help the venture get started.

There are a couple of other advantages to my trip. One does not need a passport and West Texans do speak English, well after a fashion.

‘We got our jackknife rig up about noon and kicked on the mud pumps to make sure the circulation was running okay and then spudded the hole. We can run triples easy enough with this mast height so it shouldn’t take that long to get to the pay zone in the Ellenberger.  This is just an in field offset, none of that horizontal stuff. But we will have to set a packer about 500 feet.  I never have seen a cement job in the day time so better plan on having the insulated overalls handy when Halliburton shows up to cement the casing. ‘

I mean, that’s English, plain and simple, right?  Or is it just distant enough to qualify as a foreign language. So far I only have one volunteer, and he went to high school in Abilene.

The rest are probably worried that we just might not get back at all. Did Bing Crosby and Bob Hope have this trouble in their Road Pictures?

Dennis Elam, a graduate of Andrews High,  teaches at Texas A & M San Antonio .